Failure

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I miss blogging. And what I miss even more than that is losing weight. And then I probably miss free time, home cooked meals and lazy Saturdays as well.

I could tell you how I’m going to get back on track and am starting to stick to a schedule, but I’m probably not. I just want to be honest. I am struggling to prioritize my life and some things seem a lot more pressing at the moment.

I have a reminder of just how overweight I am at least once a day. From the struggle of putting lotion on your feet to not being able to button that top or slacks that you loved so much to to getting winded walking short distances. It’s all a struggle that no one should face daily.

I miss the fitter version of me and I miss blogging as an outlet. But with grad school, starting 2 new business and a new job I just don’t know where my health fits into all that.

And then there’s friends. Oh my dear friends. If you don’t fall into the classmate, client, business partner or coworker categories then I probably don’t see or talk to you often. I miss you guys too… I miss leisurely lunch with friends where we don’t have laptops, iPads or notes to look over.

It sounds like I am complaining and I guess to a degree I am, but a good friend told me everyone has sacrifices they have to make for what they want. But what do you do when you want it all?

I want to be successful in my academic pursuits, professional endeavors, entrepreneurial aspirations, relationships, health, financial goals and religious convictions.

My definition of success is looking back and having no regrets. That’s my dream and I’m working towards it. This post actually came from me daydreaming. I was thinking of all the things I was missing out on and all the things I felt I failed at recently and began to write it out on my iPhone.   That was two weeks ago and I have been trying to achieve a balance ever since then.

I’m becoming an expert on failure, but I do know if you never fail then you’ve never truly tried anything. So does that mean I should be grateful for my failures?!?! I think so…. here are a few things that have not gone quite right for me… Spending two whole weeks of preparation to not make a single dollar at an event. Stepping on the scale to see a number that is within 5 pounds of the number I vowed never to see again. Researching, creating and presenting an itinerary to a client that they just rejected and sent me back to square 1. After several interviews realizing you may have to start with an entry-level job after earning your MBA because you don’t have experience in the field you’re trying to pursue. Then there’s the 75 you made on a test that you spent night and day studying for a solid two weeks.

That’s a brief synopsis of my recent failures, but I am constantly trying to fight through them all. Clearly I’m not a stranger to failure, but I’m learning to never be a quitter. So you may not hear from me often, but please know I haven’t quit.I’m just trying hard to figure out this thing called life and all its ups and downs.

Until soon,

Carnisha

The odds are against me

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What do you do when you make a bet and lose 2 /3 times??? A smart person would throw in the towel, but I guess I am not a smart person! I went BIGGER! Crazy how that works. I lost my bet that ended July 11th. But, now instead of doing a one month bet, I did a 6 month bet. I have to lose 10% of my body weight in 6 months.

I’m tired of writing about losing weight. I’m tired of thinking about losing weight. I’m tired of this rollercoaster I’ve been on, it’s actually quite draining. So let’s just stop talking and start doing. If there’s one thing I clearly know how to do, it’s put my money where my mouth is.

So I’ll have monthly goals leading up to my 6 month final weigh in. The grand prize pot is only half the total pot, the other half is equally split between months 1-5. So that means technically I have 6 bets to win. Maybe I could win all of them? But I hope to win most of them!

Here’s the breakdown of my monthly goals/bets.

 

Month weight loss Goal (total lbs) Body percentage
Starting weight —- 263.2 100%
Round 1 7.9 7.9 3%
Round 2 7.9 15.8 6%
Round 3 5.3 21.1 8%
Round 4 2.6 23.7 9%
Round 5 2.6 26.3 10%
Round 6           ——————MAINTAIN————————-

 

When I look at the weight loss required per round, that seems quite feasible. I should have at least rounds 3-5 in the bag.

The weight loss goals I put on myself were a lot more difficult that the ones of this challenge, but if I’m not meeting the ones I set why not set some that I may be able to actually accomplish?

So here’s to 7.9 pounds this month!

This week I just finished the most labor intensive module of my MBA program so far, so that’s why I’ve been M-I-A lately. I have to say I am quite exhausted! Mentally, physically, and emotionally. But here’s to it being over!!! I should have a drink or a few, but I’ve got goals to meet ;) Let’s just hope I don’t get hit with another class like that one! 4 modules down and 3 more to go! I can not believe that I have only 5 more classes left until I graduate! My eye is on the finish line.

During one of my training sessions I recall my trainer telling me exercise wasn’t near as hard as getting my MBA. And I agree with her that the exercise wasn’t as hard, but losing weight is probably much harder than my MBA program. Two things I need to succeed in. It’s tough, but it should all be worth it!

Just a note, I had a problem submitting the verifications for my official starting weight so the actual weight and monthly goals may change slightly once I get my weight officially verified. I’ll keep you updated with my Transformer Challenge! As always, thanks for dropping by!

Let’s not make this a trend

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I had a so-so week last week. My dieting wasn’t horrible, but definitely wasn’t post worthy. And then I may have exercised 3 or 4 times, which isn’t horrible either, but not exactly measuring up to my goal for last week.

Then came the weekend… I spent Friday night in New Orleans with a friend who’s friend was coming in town and wanted to party it up in Nola (abbreviation locals use for New Orleans, Louisiana). I had my mind set that I’d have two or three drinks at the most and then eat reasonably well. I started the night by having shrimp and grits for dinner and then bought mini bottles of wine for everyone. Man that was an unnecessary pre-gamer! I’ll save the details of the night and my good girl reputation by saying that I had a good night and even managed to stay well behaved!

And then Saturday night, I went out with my family to a Hibachi dinner for my nephew’s birthday. There I managed to eat lots of veggies and about half of my rice, but then I had the bright idea of getting my nephew some ice cream and having everyone over to my place. Well ice cream turned into ice cream, cake, party masks, candles, and alcohol. Deep sigh. My family was not helping with my weight loss efforts! I did manage to avoid alcohol the whole night, but man I surely didn’t avoid the ice cream and cake. I may have went a bit overboard.

With all my confessions out in the open it should come as no surprise that I weighed in at 260 this morning. Deep sigh again! That was my confession, and now that this has been aired it’s solution time. Since my last Dietbet went so well, I’ve decided to start another one. I am a bit apprehensive because this one has already started, so I won’t have as much time as the other participants and this is a little sooner than I wanted to start another one. But I said I would not go back to the 260s, and now that I have there’s no time for playing around, something must be done immediately!

I’m going to sign up for the bet and go ahead and weigh in this week. The last one went so well, I can only hope the next does also.

Started from the bottom, now I’m still here. Happy Tuesday y’all! Practice consistency! Do as I say, not as I do!

 

Going shopping!

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This past Sunday as I was looking for something to wear to church, I just happened to venture into the closet in my office. I often call this closet my too small closet. I’m really showing how horrible I am with words, not to find a better name for this closet. But that’s just what it is over here! I first introduced my closet and all the clothes I dream of wearing again in a post last Halloween which I entitled Closet of Horrors. Well this time around the trip wasn’t so horrific, it was actually nice.

October 2013

October 2013

This was me trying unsuccessfully to get this old time favorite shirt on without any luck. I couldn’t even button the lower buttons.

June 2014

June 2014

Here is me on Sunday, all buttoned up! I was so excited that I took a picture with my bonnet still on my head! Please excise that by the way!

It was really encouraging to be able to get some “new” clothes without the expense of having to purchase any.

New Clothes!

New Clothes!

I was able to get 4 shirts and five pairs of pants. About a month or so ago I was able to put three pairs of jeans back into my normal closet.

I haven’t tried on any dresses, skirts or shorts yet. But maybe in a month or so I’ll be able to get into some more of this stuff as well. There are 8 pairs of jeans in there waiting for me to come back to them. It’s funny that the stuff in this closet ranges from size 12/14-18. So there’s tons of motivation in there. Slowly but surely I’ll be cleaning that closet out so I can use it for just outer and winter wear so I can get shelves in my hall closet and be able to use tat just for linens. Oh the dream! One day it’ll become reality.

Being able to fit into old clothes is definitely a confidence booster, but I’m finding myself very stressed lately and have been making some poor food choices earlier this week as well as exercising less than I’m supposed to be this week. I’ve been doing more of 3-4 workouts than 4-7 that I was aiming for this week. I’ll try to get the ball back swinging. Maybe I need another Dietbet to make sure I keep myself accountable and don’t get too lazy. I will definitely keep a close handle on things and I’ve even asked my friends to hold me accountable as well. I mean I do still have LOTS of clothes to fit into!

20140608_133440127_iOS20140608_133532107_iOS

 

Victory is Mine

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I am excited to announce that I am victorious! I weighed in on Tuesday at 258.0! That means I won my diet bet of losing 4% of my body weight in 4 weeks! If you remember my Redemption post, then you know I was actually aiming for 255, but I’m just happy I won after losing the first time.

So I’ll let you know how much money I won with my Diet Bet as soon as they give me word. There ended up being 3,241 players participate with a total pot of $100,500 that has to be split amongst the winners after the site takes their percentage. The real great thing about this game was that the 3200 people that played the game lost a total of 17,351 pounds! Isn’t that amazing? That comes to a little more than 5 pounds per person! I’m torn between being excited for all the participants that shed pounds and hoping that at least half of the people didn’t so I can get a bigger share of the pot! My friend that won last time only won her initial pay in back and $30, but hey I’d definitely take that!

Ok, so what now?!? I don’t want to gain any of that weight back, so I’d be more than happy to continue this downward spiral. I am happy to be in the 250′s, but I don’t want to get comfortable here at all! Next stop— 240′s!

I would be more than happy with losing 8 pounds a month, so that’s my new goal. But I’m secretly hoping to drop 35 pounds by mid-September. That would be closer to 10 pounds a month. If I make it to there I’d be elated. You wouldn’t be able to tell me anything! To see the 220′s again would be fabulous. Yes that’s the dream… to be reunited with the 220′s in September. It’s a lofty goal, but I think I can do it. Well I hope I can do it.

I was supposed to write about what I’ve been eating for the past 4 weeks, so I’ll get to that… It seems posts that require lots of pictures take a while for me to put up. I have a case study that I’ve been trying to avoid all week and writing this allows me to feel productive without having to do my homework! Ladies and gentlemen I call that a win-win situation!

 

21 in 21

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March to May

March 18 to May 20

Last Tuesday I realized there were only 21 days left in my diet bet and it was time to get things moving. Literally.

For the next 21 days I have to do cardio. Every. Single. Day. I can either walk 2 miles, do 30 minutes of cardio in addition to a weight or another type of workout, or do an hour of cardio.

So far it’s been good. I’ve only taken one day off last Friday and that was just because I was being lazy. Other than that one day off the past week has been great. I weighed in at 259.2 this morning! I don’t even have a whole pound to lose and 12 days to do it! I’m feeling good.

I started last Tuesday by walking 2.5 miles at my neighborhood park then Wednesday I completed 60 minutes of cardio on the treadmill, elliptical, cross trainer and rowing machine. Thursday I spent an hour and a half of yard work. That’s pretty much my rotation, some days in the gym and some days walking.

This Saturday is my kayaking trip, FINALLY! I hope this trip won’t end like my last blind kayaking adventure! It’s a good time, great people, and an awesome workout. It’s great to have an active lifestyle again. But can I say how excited I am to be back in the 250s? After getting all the way up to 278 it’s great to break the 260s!

It looks like I’m going to win my bet! I just have to keep doing exactly what I’ve been doing. I haven’t just been upping my cardio, but I’m also eating much better… Post to follow!

Operation 21 workouts in 21 days in full effect! Care to join?

Redemption

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photo 1photo 3photo 2

This is Cupid’s Garden in Arlington, Virginia. I was lucky enough to take a trip up to the northeast (DC, Philly, Delaware, Jersey and NY) last week. I’m sure I’ll let you know about my revelations in traveling and my new found love of big cities. I ran into this sweet spot in the suburbs of DC while taking a stroll for lunch.

This made me happy and sad all at once. The garden was amid a busy intersection and I loved the contrast of the silver sculpture surround by the different types of low lying greenery, strong and feminine tulips, and the low flirty flowers that I want to say are pansies.

photo 4

I found that a white tulip is used to symbolize worthiness. And this one obviously isn’t worthy. I feel this is quite symbolic. Surrounded by beauty and everything it needs to thrive, this lone white tulip is failing in the one thing it is alive to do… be beautiful.

Last month I wrote all about my Diet Bet, which I ended up losing. Well, it’s redemption time! I signed up for a new Diet Bet that began last Monday. I said I will not lose twice! I feel like I cheated a bit, but I decided to make sure to give myself an advantage this time. I weighed in right before I went to sleep at 269.4. The following morning the scale said 265. I knew that I would weigh heavier at night with a stomach full of food than I did the next morning, so that’s why I decided to submit my weigh in at night.

With a weigh in of 269.4, I need to weigh in at 258.6 on June 2 to win my bet. So that means I only have 6-7 pounds to drop thanks to my strategic weighing in. I feel a wee bit guilty about my sneaky tactics, so I’d like to try to get to 255 by my deadline. It’s been quite a while since I’ve been in the 250s and I have to say I’m quite excited about this very real possibility.

The lone white tulip only needs some time and attention, and that’s exactly what I need as well. A little hard work and careful planning will get me back on track, and hopefully with a little more cash in my pockets! Take the time out this week to stop and smell the flowers! It’s spring time and in south Louisiana the weather is gorgeous, so have a nice week and talk to you soon!