Monthly Archives: December 2011

A Dream Deferred

This is a bit hard for me to write, I’m admitting to failure. I started this blog on August 16th and made my official declaration on August 22nd. I said that by January 17, 2012 I will be 75 pounds lighter than my heaviest weight of 262 pounds. And today as I write this I’m only around 35 pounds under that weight.

I know weight loss in itself is a victory, but I can’t help but be upset at myself. The whole idea of this blog was that 2011 would be my last fat year. And now I have to face that it won’t be. When the clock strikes midnight 2012 I will not be 75 pounds lighter and I’ll have to start another year being overweight.

Now that the sad part is done with I can move on to the victories of 2011, and look forward to 2012. I’m proud that this year I was more independent. Last year I would have needed someone to go to the gym with me, but this year I was perfectly okay with jumping up and saying I’m going to work out. I’m proud of that. Because in the end my health is about me, I gained weight all by myself and I shouldn’t be afraid to lose it solo either.

2011 wasn’t my last fat year, but it definitely was my fittest year and that’s an accomplishment in itself. When I first stepped on a treadmill I could barely get up to 3.5 mph, but now I am working on doubling that. I could barely be on an elliptical machine for 10 minutes, and totally forget about the cross trainer machine. This year I’ve worked up to an hour on the elliptical and do up to 30 on the cross trainer. I have to claim these small victories.

I have a lot of people to thank for my progress. But today I want to say thank you to my trainer from 2010 that jump started my fitness routine and had me doing things I never thought I could. When she pushed me it made me realize I can do this. And there’s a really fit person inside me who’s waiting to come out. She’s not training anymore but I can’t imagine how fit I’d be if she was still training me. She not only dealt with the physical part, but she stopped to have a chat with me when I felt I couldn’t do it anymore. That was 2010 and I still remember some things she taught me. I can hear her every time I do a plank (not very often!) saying oh no you can hold it longer, butt down, and back straight! I will always think of her when I’m “planking”.

So now I can proclaim that 2012 will be my last fat year. I want to try new things that I haven’t tried yet. I want to get to a level of fitness that I was unreachable. I want to do activities that I never thought I’d be able to do. I’ve found new and exciting activities and I hope that you’ll stay tuned in 2012 to see all the adventures I get into.

So my dream to getting thinner didn’t come when I expected it to, but I’m slowly getting there and I think I’m all the better for taking my time. This year I’ve learned countless lessons, saw what I was capable of, and pushed farther. I’m planning when I’ll be ready for my first half marathon.  And that’s a WAY far away plan. But last year I never would have even dreamed of wanting to do 13.1 miles, that was only for crazy people.  I have grown and opened my mind. So for that I am thankful.

I hope that 2011 was amazing for you, and all of your dreams come true for 2012. I have grown very fond of my blog community and I sincerely care about you all and wish nothing but the best for you. Each of you have touched me more than you would know, even if you never came out and said anything. I see the numbers and I’m so thankful for each and every one. In 2012 I promise to do my best to make this blog better and I hope you stay tuned for the ride! I love you all.

So I leave you all with A dream deferred by Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore–
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over–
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

It’s our decision what happens to the dreams that we defer. And I chose not to let mine dry up. Happy New Year!

Xoxo,

Carnisha

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Holiday Habits

Happy holidays. Or is it too late to still say that? I hope you practiced more self-control than I did over this past festive weekend. The sad part is that it didn’t just last a weekend. It probably lasted up until yesterday.

I have a cheese obsession so it’s no surprise that my favorite holiday indulgence is mac and cheese. Oh it’s so yummy. I’ve lightened it up a few times, but I always miss my super fattening version. Yes it’s that bad. Loaded with heavy cream, half and half, cream cheese, and a selection of other cheeses. I can’t imagine Christmas or Thanksgiving without it. Is it time to let go of the super rich mac and cheese for the holidays or should I attempt to have more self-control when facing the cheesy enemy?

I see why the holidays are so hard to keep weight off. It’s the season of overindulgence. You want lots of gifts, lots of food, and not lots of time spent in the gym. These past two weeks have been extremely hard for me to keep my focus on proper eating AND sufficient exercise. But I really hope the worst is over.

I can continue looking at all the things I did wrong in these past two weeks or I can focus on ending this year with my best foot forward so 2012 will be a smooth transition into a healthy new year.

Keeping this short and sweet because I have a long one for you on Friday. But how would you deal with my mac and cheese controversy? What are your favorite holiday treats?

Contest Winner

I want to thank all the people who decided to enter our giveaway. I hope this is the first of many contests and giveaways here so please stay tuned. I learned a lot from this and I hope from here they will only get bigger and better. But now to the good part, the winner.

Sarah

from Framingham University!

Thank you so much for reading the blog and I hope you enjoy my small token of gratitude.

Happily ever after

I’ve never really been the happily ever after type of girl. I almost tricked myself into believing I was at one point, but I came to my senses. I’m convinced that happiness is created totally inside of me and therefore no one has control of it but me. Happiness is a choice that I can make each day when I wake up in the morning. And I have to say it’s a hard choice to make at times. I wish it was easier to make that decision, but for me it’s not. But here’s what I realized by trying to make this decision.

 Happiness is not found on a scale, on a plate or new dress. True happiness can only be found within yourself. I’ve struggled with relying on things or other people to put a smile on my face but that’s an impossible feat. This year I am thankful for myself. I am thankful that God has given me everything I need to be happy. And as a bonus I was also given some great friends and family that are there to support me along the way. And not to mention all my faceless supporters in blogosphere, I love you all and you truly mean so much to me.

 Enough with the sappy stuff I guess that’s what the holidays do to us. But if you celebrate Christmas then I hope you have a very merry one. I’m a little late for the Hanukkah celebrators but I hope that you had a great one. Happy Kwanza to all those who celebrate the holiday.

 Reminder: Don’t forget about the giveaway. Monday’s post will announce the winner! A little present from me to one of you.

Priorities

Getting fit is my number one priority. I think about where my life is now and all that I have going on, and I can honestly say nothing comes before my health. I have dreams and goals that are not health or weight related but they come second to every fitness related activity in my life.

I think of my friends and how I’ve neglected some and grown much closer to others and it all has to do with fitness. If you’re living a healthy lifestyle and are exercising regularly then we have gotten closer and I’m sure this topic is more than half of our conversations. My life has been taken over by this journey. And if you want to hang out with me I’d probably suggest some kind of calorie burning activity. And if you’re not into that then I’ll have to spend time with you once I accomplish my goal and am able to slow down a bit.

I’m not nearly the healthy eater I should be but I find myself talking about health way too much. I love swapping recipes and healthy tips with friends. Sometimes I think I can just go out and have fun like a normal 20 something, but it just isn’t as gratifying as being active. Yes it feels good to unwind but burning calories and meeting goals feels so much better.

I look back on this year and the people who I’ve gotten closer to are the ones that have the same goals and aspirations as I do. And the people who I thought would never fade away are the ones who probably wouldn’t go on a hike or take am evening jog with me. But this is life and I am happy that so many people are along with for this ride, because I think it may be more difficult without your help.

Don’t forget about the CASH giveaway. You can enter up until Monday morning. All you have to do is comment on one of this week’s posts! I didn’t know how hard it is to give away money. I don’t think y’all are interested, are you? Prove me wrong.

Show me the money

And the pot of moolah goes to… yours truly! Am I excited that I won the challenge? Absolutely. Even though I felt like my competitors did not give it their all. But I am happy regardless. I could have done better and they could have done better.

I consider myself  a woman of my word. Since I won my competition, you can win a part of my pot as well. I will be giving away $25 cash reward (via Paypal). I know it’s a small amount but hey I do what I can people! This is my small way to say thanks to all of you that support what I am trying to do with my blog and myself.

The Contest:

For people not subscribed to the blog, all you have to do is subscribe and make a commentletting me know you’s like me to show you the money. If you’re already subscribed to the blog, simply comment on any of the blog posts this week letting me know that they are interested in winning the prize. Simple enough? I think so. The winner will be announced on Monday’s post.

Entries must be made by Monday morning at 8am central time.  And the winner will be randomly drawn by hand or randomizer.com. I think it’ll be more exciting to do a good old hand drawing but I’ll leave my options open!

If the winner isn’t set up for PayPal and would like me to mail an electronic gift card of some type then that would be fine as well. They can just let me know where they would like the gift card from.

This is my first giveaway so I think I covered everything. If I missed something just let me know. Good luck!

And if anyone would like a 30 day free trial to Foxy’s Fitness (here in Baton Rouge just let me know. I have about five of those and they’ll go to the first people who ask. It’s a 30 day trial that you have to start by January 31st. I don’t want them to go to waste so just send me an email if you want one or two!

Progress

Beyonce and I were going hard this morning in Anytime Fitness! I feel so great today after that early morning sweat. I’m excited to say this week I’ve shaved a whole minute off my mile time.  I see why people get up early and workout. I think even after this week I should incorporate an early morning routine into my schedule.

So if you would have talked to me Tuesday or Wednesday I was absolutely positive that I was going to win the challenge. Thursday I was doubtful, but today I just don’t know. Maybe I’m just hopeful. I talked to my brother and that didn’t help with my assurance.  He’s taking the, I don’t know I may have dropped a few pounds route. And my dad CLAIMS to have lost thirty pounds, but that’s pure fiction. He’s trying to play mind games with me. I’m not falling for either of their tactics. I’ll give it my best and it is what it is. Either I’ll win or I’ll lose.

I can definitely say I tried my best this week. Did I lose five pounds in five days? No. But so far this week I’ve completed five workouts and planned two more (one this afternoon and another one Saturday morning). I totally skipped Monday, but I’m happy with my results nonetheless. How could I not be happy with seven workouts in five days? Dora is forcing me to wants me to go to a spinning class with her on Saturday morning. Am I excited? Not at all, but I think it’ll be good for me.

And I’ve been eating really well. I’ve consumed plenty of fruits and veggies with minimal carbs, processed foods, and sugars.

I haven’t forgotten about the giveaway I said I’d do if I won. I’m contemplating a few things. You’ll have some back on Monday and see if I won and what I decided to giveaway.  I hope you have a great day and a great weekend. As good as I feel right now I refuse to let anyone or anything bring me down today! Happy Friday!