So I’ve been hiding out, and for a good reason (at least in my head). I’m quite ashamed of what I’ve done to myself. I weighed in Monday at 259.6 pounds. That’s the first time I’ve gotten on the scale in months because I didn’t want to put a number on what my wardrobe already told me. I’ve been ignoring all the daily emails I get from Shape, Prevention and Active.com, those same emails that I used to go through daily searching for tips and tricks to help me along my journey.
But I got lost on the way and ended up nearly exactly where I started. I realized that I needed to write about it today after I went on a quick Walmart run and it left me out of breath. No wonder I don’t want to go out and be young because just a simple trip leaves me struggling to gain my composure. Did I turn into that fat girl? I remember I decided I couldn’t date a guy any longer because he struggled taking a short walk with me, and now I think I may look him up because we seem to be a perfect match.
But seriously I’ve never had this issue before, but it feels like when I’m walking I’m carrying a sack of bricks with me. And in some sense I am. All these extra pounds my body has to carry daily is doing so much damage to me physically, mentally, and emotionally.
And for all of you worriers out there, I am making a doctor’s appointment for next week as soon as I get back in town to discuss these issues with my doctor and make sure the only thing going on is the extra weight and not anything more serious.
But my Walmart trip was definitely a wake up call for me. I’ve been telling myself that I can’t continue to live like this for a while now, but my voice has not been louder than a slight whisper. Today I just don’t feel comfortable doing a minor task, so that definitely was the shout I needed to get back in gear. I’ll share later this week on how I plan on getting back to that fit and confident girl I once was. It’s not going to be easy, but I know it’s necessary.