You never can quite pinpoint the exact moment it happens but you just gradually feel a change within yourself. Some time between the holiday season and this past week I noticed that my days are a bit brighter, the world seems friendlier and I’m smiling more. I sit and think what happened to me? I thought maybe the world has become a kinder place, but one look at the news will show you that’s not the case. The change is not external, it’s internal. I fell in love with myself.
The world seems a lot different when you’re different. I’ve had a great year and have been blessed more than I could have imagined. I have accomplished a few of my dreams and I don’t want to take any of that for granted. I have built a wonderful support system for myself. I feel so blessed to have great people surrounding me and I love each of them dearly for what they bring to my life. I fell so loved and so alive. Every moment isn’t happy and peachy but I have way more good days than bad. And for that I’m thankful.
I celebrated my 28th birthday and my housewarming last week. I am the type of person that over thinks everything and stresses about details as small as the color flowers not coordinating with the napkins. But you know what? For my party Saturday I was totally Zen. I had no worries and just sat back and let the day unfold. Well correction, I was a bit worried when my grass didn’t get cut until 1pm when it was supposed to be cut at 8am. But even that was a brief worry because I knew it’d get done. It was a good day and I was surrounded by good people and I had a great time.
I was worried that living in a house alone would leave me feeling lonely all the time and I wouldn’t be able to handle all the emptiness. But it has actually been great. I do have times I get bored but nothing like I imagined before. My house is often full of friends and family and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I just had to relax and knock down the walls I’ve built over the years. When you surround yourself with brick walls, you’re bound to be cold and lonely. You have to knock them down and let the sunshine in. Loving myself makes it easier for others to love me and I’m really enjoying this feeling.
As I reach towards my health and fitness goals I will try to do so in love and not in hate. I want to be motivated by the love I have for myself. I am only a mere human and I will get angry with myself at times but I hope a lot less than in the past. Love is contagious and I hope you catch a little of it from reading this.
If you are in my little circle I want you to know that I love you and I appreciate you. The quality of people I surround myself with is mind blowing and each person in my life is an amazing human being and I’m a better person for knowing each of you. UI have several names that come to mind but I won’t make this a list of shout outs! If I’m as good of a friend to you as you are to me then you already know exactly who you are.
If you’ve never met me I love and appreciate you for sharing my journey with me. It’s been a rough ride but I’m not giving up yet and I hope you don’t give up on me.
I see that I’m getting emotionally in my old age haha.
Here are some pictures from my week. Enjoy.