Monthly Archives: February 2014

That Fat Girl

Some words hurt and others have a way of rolling right off your skin. Being called a fat girl started to become just who I was and not even sting the way many people thought it should. That’s what and who I am. I am that fat girl.

I weighed myself yesterday and wasn’t at all shocked by the number on the scale. If I’m being honest, I actually thought it would have been a little higher. The scale read 273.8, which means my BMI is 48, which is in the extremely obese category. Just to for a frame of reference, a healthy BMI is between 19-24. (You can check your BMI using this WebMd calculator.)

I have to decide not to identify as that fat girl anymore. I don’t want to do things that are stereotyped for that type of person. It’s pretty similar to a decision I had to make a long time ago not to be that black girl. I hate labeling myself because I don’t think there’s just one box that I fit into. I am a beautiful collection of bits and pieces from all different categories. I am that girly girl, that tomboy, that religious girl, that ourdoorsy girl, that loving girl, that nerdy girl, that quiet girl, the list goes on and on but it does include that fat girl. At least, for now. But I won’t let you single me out into any one of those categories because it doesn’t define me. I am a unique combination of so many things and I want to embrace them all. Sometimes I’m incredibly timid and other times I may seem like the life of the party. Now I am a fat girl, but I will not be that girl forever.

There’s no point in dreaming if you aren’t willing to get up and put the work in to make it reality. A hard lesson to learn, but when you learn it whole heartedly, it will change your life forever. I am such a dreamer, but now I know that you have to wake up in order to make your dreams become reality.

So day by day I will continue to prove to myself what’s important in my life. I’m so excited, scared and nervous about these changes, but I realize it’s necessary. I will put my money where my mouth is so to say and prove to me and everyone else that I am willing and able to wake up and stop dreaming. It’s time for action.

I sincerely hope that you all start or continue making strides to conquer your dreams. There’s a long road ahead but the longer you wait, the farther away it becomes. SO what are you waiting for?

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Progress

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I’m sad to say last week I didn’t quite hit my five mile mark. I am disappointed about that fact and honestly I am looking at my calendar for this week and I may not be able to get it done this week either, but I guess that’s called being negative???

Last week I went for what started as a jog and then not even 2 minutes in, it became a battle against me and my burning/cramping calves. So needless to say I did not get too much mileage in… I managed to get about a mile and a half completed. Then Saturday night after movies, popcorn and candy I went to the gym around 10 or so and got 2 miles in. I think that was my proud moment of last week, getting off my comfy couch on a Saturday night and going to the gym. And my lesson learned from last week was I am not ready for jogging!

So this week I finally got my group presentation over! But with finals, study groups and other planned activities, I’m going to have to get super creative to get my miles in. Tonight my teacher proposed that we will have to stay in class from 6-10 because we missed a day last week due to weather. Urgh, doesn’t he know I’m trying to get some gym time in? Even with my inconsiderate professors, finals, bible study, etc I will make an attempt to get three workouts in.

But there’s also been progress with food selections and my appetite. I have been purchasing more produce and lean proteins as well as going back to cooking more. I will spare you all I ate while watching the Super Bowl (no progress there), BUT I don’t think I over stuffed myself as I usually would when surrounded by so many of my favorite foods. I made sure to chomp down on a significant amount of broccoli (my new fav snack) which made me feel a little bit more responsible. And this morning I stopped and had hash browns and my body was seemingly rejecting them, like what is this greasy mess you are putting in my body? But I’m learning to listen to my body, especially paying attention to when I’m really hungry and not just wanting to eat everything I see.

I really tried to weigh myself this weekend, but my scale needed batteries, and of course it doesn’t take the A, AA or C batteries that I keep on hand. So whenever I find time to get those batteries or buy another scale that takes normal batteries I will share my current weight with you. I’ve had several doctor appointments in the past few weeks, so I’m aware of the number and let me tell you it’s a bit shocking.

I just wanted to check in and let you know I’m making progress. There are areas where I can give a greater effort, but I’m pretty content with the progress I’ve made given everything else that I’m juggling at the moment.

I wish you all luck on your goals this week. I hope next week I’ll be able to share my weight and let you all know that I made my five miles for the week. I’ll leave you with a quote I saw on the gym last week, “You don’t have to be great to start, you have to start to be great”.

Have a great week ladies and gents!