Category Archives: Inspiration

Going shopping!

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This past Sunday as I was looking for something to wear to church, I just happened to venture into the closet in my office. I often call this closet my too small closet. I’m really showing how horrible I am with words, not to find a better name for this closet. But that’s just what it is over here! I first introduced my closet and all the clothes I dream of wearing again in a post last Halloween which I entitled Closet of Horrors. Well this time around the trip wasn’t so horrific, it was actually nice.

October 2013

October 2013

This was me trying unsuccessfully to get this old time favorite shirt on without any luck. I couldn’t even button the lower buttons.

June 2014

June 2014

Here is me on Sunday, all buttoned up! I was so excited that I took a picture with my bonnet still on my head! Please excise that by the way!

It was really encouraging to be able to get some “new” clothes without the expense of having to purchase any.

New Clothes!

New Clothes!

I was able to get 4 shirts and five pairs of pants. About a month or so ago I was able to put three pairs of jeans back into my normal closet.

I haven’t tried on any dresses, skirts or shorts yet. But maybe in a month or so I’ll be able to get into some more of this stuff as well. There are 8 pairs of jeans in there waiting for me to come back to them. It’s funny that the stuff in this closet ranges from size 12/14-18. So there’s tons of motivation in there. Slowly but surely I’ll be cleaning that closet out so I can use it for just outer and winter wear so I can get shelves in my hall closet and be able to use tat just for linens. Oh the dream! One day it’ll become reality.

Being able to fit into old clothes is definitely a confidence booster, but I’m finding myself very stressed lately and have been making some poor food choices earlier this week as well as exercising less than I’m supposed to be this week. I’ve been doing more of 3-4 workouts than 4-7 that I was aiming for this week. I’ll try to get the ball back swinging. Maybe I need another Dietbet to make sure I keep myself accountable and don’t get too lazy. I will definitely keep a close handle on things and I’ve even asked my friends to hold me accountable as well. I mean I do still have LOTS of clothes to fit into!

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Superwoman

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I am not Superwoman, but isn’t that what I’m supposed to be?

Maybe it’s all in my head that I have to be stronger, smarter and tougher than the woman next to me. That’s what I try to live up to everyday. I can do by myself what any man, woman or couple can do… Perhaps that’s why I always feel like I’m failing.

It depends on why you ask, some people may not think I’m failing at all, but that’s far from the point. I hold myself to unrealistic expectations. I want to do well in school, work, life, spirituality, love, fitness, and finances. But last year I realized I can’t do it all. While trying to stick my hands in too many pots, it’s no wonder I get burned in a few of them. It feels as if I’m drowning and just can’t quite keep it all together.

So what’s the solution? STOP. Those simple four letters that are so easy to type but so difficult to execute. This year I want to take great risks and live life freely. I don’t want to be bound by my expectations of myself or expectations of anyone around me. I want to do things that move me, just for that simple reason and nothing more. I want to live life in color instead of the safe grayscale existence I’ve forced upon myself. I want to be beautiful, feel beautiful and live beautifully.

I’ve always loved the song Superwoman by Alicia Keys, but never quite examined the lyrics. Here’s the first verse…

Everywhere I’m turning

Nothing seems complete

I stand up and I’m searching

For the better part of me

I hang my head from sorrow

state of humanity

I wear it on my shoulders

Gotta find the strength in me

The song is actually about NOT being a superwoman by the traditional definition, but being exactly who you are and doing it gracefully. So I’m going to work on being more patient and kind with myself and accepting all my flaws as I would accept them in others. That is my task for this new year.

I teased one of my dear friends about her more than 25 revisions of a blog post that she recently shared with the world, but I can not tease her at all. I understand the difficulty in sharing the personal stuff that you don’t even share with your closest friends, but yet here it is up on the internet to be seen by any random passerby. I can not tease her at all because I originally wrote this on December 17th and have made various changes and shyed away from sharing this ever since then. But thank you for unknowingly helping me find the courage to put my words on this screen. Thank you for being brave ad showing me how perfectly imperfect a woman can be. You are a Superwoman.

For everyone that comes across this page, I hope that you become the best version of yourself, not just this year but for countless years to come. Happy New Year.

#ThrowbackThursday…The Goal

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I was scrolling through Facebook the other night and ran across these two photos. So since it’s throwback Thursday, I thought I’d share.

That's an active gal 4/20/11

4/20/11

5/11/11 I love this blurry pic

5/11/11

Man, I don’t even recognize this girl. But it’s me. I buried her under the 60 pounds I gained since then. It’s really astonishing how different I looked just over two years ago. I only wish I saw this image in the mirror today. But I’m just going to look harder because I believe she’s there and she’s begging me to let her out. She says she can’t hide in there anymore. So I have to set her free.

From now on these will be my motivation pictures. They will be on my refrigerator and on my phone so I can have access to them at all times. When the urge comes for an extra serving, a calorie rich desert, or when I just won’t get off my butt and work out I can look at this and see where I want to be. No… where I need to be.

THIS IS MY GOAL. I want to get here and this time not stop there but improve on that. That is what 219 looks like, but this time I’m going south of 200. How far??? We’ll see when we get there.

I’m on my way… Care to join?

I was here

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This may not be my best from a writing standpoint, but I love this song. 

“I was here” September26, 2011

Inspiration strikes again by song. This time the song bird is Miss Beyoncé Knowles or should I say Mrs. Carter? This song brings so much inspiration to my whole life. I know health and weight loss is my main priority now but I do have a life outside of that. I pride myself on my volunteer efforts and I’ve always believed that helping someone else makes your own life that much more worth living.

When my time comes I want to be able to say I tried my hardest at all my dreams and never backed down from one of them. I know every dream isn’t meant to become reality but I want to make sure that doesn’t stop me from trying. And I would hope there is at least one person in this world that would be able to say that their world was better because I was there.

Check out the song and lyrics in the video below…

Journey to finding and loving yourself

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So this may seem a bit backwards but I picked up this book and was totally moved by the quote on the back cover.

“I’m Loved, I’m valued, and I’m capable of achieving balance in my life. I can learn to eat well. I can exercise. I can express gratitude for the simple act of being able to breathe in and breathe out. I can move away from darkness and depression to light and hope. I can be happy with who I am, not what I should be, or what I might have been, or what somone tells me I must be.

I am me, the true me; you are you, the true you-and that’s good. That’s beautiful. That’s enough.”

Any guesses on the mystery author of this quote? I’ll wait for it… waiting… ok I don’t have all day. It’s Miss Janet Jackson. Talking about just when I need it. Ever since I read that quote a day or two ago I can’t get it out of my mind. Those are exactly the words I need right now.

The book is True You: A Journey to Finding and Loving Yourself. I haven’t read it yet, but I’m excited to do so. For the last week or two I haven’t made time for anything beneficial to my life. My exercising has been almost non-existent. My eating habits have been horrible, I’ve had more fast food in these two weeks than I’ve had in the last two or three months. Yes I know I have to get out of this slump. This dark and horrible place that’s not helping me in any way.

I’m hoping Janet’s story can help give me the motivation that I need. The summary states that the book will explore Janet’s struggles with weight, self-esteem and dealing with her fame. She shares fitness tips from her trainer Tony Martinez. Her nutritionist, David Allen writes a section and Chef André (of A Cafe) shares a variety of recipes in the back.

I know I should have waited until I actually read the book to write about it, but I couldn’t wait because the quote was just too good not to share. I can’t wait to sit down and plunge into this book. It’s hard to believe that a world-famous celebrity goes through some of the same struggles as you, even though they can afford trainers, nutritionists, and chefs. it makes me think no matter how much money you have, managing your weight is a difficult process.

I feel so much better about my situation now, although I know it HAS to get better. We’re all human and we can make mistakes, but it should be a learning experience and I can’t wallow in self-pity. That’s a dangerous and ugly place like falling in a bottomless pit. So I’m going to get up and say I will not continue to fall. I’m going to stand on my own two feet! I’m working out today and I’m going to have a great race tomorrow!

Happy Friday everyone and if you can relate to the place I’m in now and have some encouraging words, I’d love to hear! Let’s be better tomorrow than we were today. Results don’t happen overnight… You’ve got to WORK! Are you ready? I think I’m ready, so let’s GOOOOOO! (I’ll let you know if the book is as good as the quote on the back cover.)

Dora the Explorer

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So yesterday you guys met my workout buddy that I nicknamed Dora the Explorer. I think it may be time for a formal introduction to my work out buddy. I’ve mentioned her many times before because more than half of the time I’m working out she’s right there beside me. Her name is Tatiyana. Sometimes I’ll call her Tati or to her dismay, Tater. She doesn’t like that one at all but she doesn’t bother to fuss at me for calling her it anymore! Who wouldn’t want to be nicknamed after deep-fried goodness of tater tots? Silly girl!

Some people may be able to self motivate and keep themselves on track, but I’ve realized that I can’t do it by myself… I need help. If you’re anything like me your choice of workout buddy is extremely important to you achieving your goals.

It is okay to choose a partner that is a little more or less advanced than you. I don’t think physical abilities are important as will and determination. Through our various activities she’s been able to encourage, push, and even scowl at me when necessary. And I feel that’s exactly what a good workout buddy will do for you. She has her own journey and I’m very proud of the progress she’s made and I also have to credit her for some of my loss as well.

Sometimes our schedules don’t allow us to exercise together but we do talk about what we’ve done separately. I want her to succeed just as much as she wants me to and I think that’s why Dora and I make a good team.

We’re going to do an Amazing race style race in November and that’ll test how good we work as a team! I’m really excited about that race. It’s called the Amazing Raise Presents Battling Batten’s, sign up and get ready to eat our dust! I love talking smack! That race is November 19 in Baton Rouge for anyone interested.

Also on our race schedule is New Roads Fall Festival 5k next weekend and the Reindeer Run in December. This year we completed our first 5k and clearly this has been the year of 5ks. But next March is a Mardi Gras Mambo 10k and I’m hoping next year will be the year of the 10k.

Anyways I couldn’t do any of this without Dora by my side, so you all should find your own Dora. And hopefully you can find one that’ll help you find your way out of the woods because mine can’t!  Or do you already have a work out buddy? What ways do they help you and what types of activities do y’all do together?

I have an announcement scheduled for Friday! I realized a key component of my blog was missing so hopefully I’ll be able to get it done and show it to you on Friday! Every new day is another opportunity for greatness. Let’s all go out and be great today.

My sincerest gratitude

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Two months ago to this day all I had was a URL and a few thoughts… I wanted to share my last fat year with anyone  interested. I wanted to share my story hoping that it would help make someone else’s journey a little easier. Or at the least be interesting to read about my shenanigans now and then.

August 22, 2011 I published my first post, My Official Declaration. I was a bit taken aback by the kind and encouraging feedback that it received. After that post I committed to making a new post three times a week (Monday, Wednesday, and Friday), I may have broken my commitment a time or two but I’ve never been too good with that word. I never would have guessed it would be this difficult. I thought I could write a blog… I have lots to say. But reality hit and I don’t always know what to say, there are times when I have to sit and think about topics to share. I’m not or never will be a writer but I hope my ability to relate will overshadow my lack of formal writing skill. This is the beginning and I’m hoping it’s only going to get better from here.

I’d like to express my gratitude for each and every person that has ever commented, emailed, called, texted, tweeted or simply talked to me about this site. Every single click matters to me and I thank all of you that are bearing with me as I go through my growing pains. These first few months have been more than I imagined. I figured a few friends and family would occasionally take a peek, but I never imagined anyone other than them would find an interest in my voyage.

If you know me well you know that I’m usually not very emotional, but at this moment I can’t help but be overwhelmed by my emotions. This blog was a concept that I’ve thought of for a while but was always hesitant to jump in to. Read about coming to that decision here. I’m more excited about this site and my goals than ever. Friends, family and new-found friends I love and thank you all. I would go in to individual thank yous but I don’t think anyone wants to read that long list. I have friends that have dreams much bigger for me than I even have for myself. And I love and thank them for pushing me every time they feel necessary.

This is the perfect time to thank my dear friend Bekah. She has truly been an inspiration to my blog and my life, as I strive to one day to be half the writer she is. Her blog Rebekah Hopes is truly amazing, and if she thinks mine is worth reading then I must be doing something right. So please take a look at it and be inspired.

I’m so happy I have great people like her to make my voyage so much more enjoyable. I’m truly blessed and I really cannot say thank you enough to everyone that’s taking this journey with me or even just cheering me on as I go. With this kind of support from all of you there is no way I can fail.

Any ideas, comments, questions or concerns are greatly appreciated. Or if you see something that you think could be better please let me know. And it’s always a joy to hear stories of others in the weight loss battle. You can contact me via email, comments or twitter.

I promise that everything posted on here is genuine and I’ll always speak from my heart. Read on dear friends.

Xoxo,

Carnisha