Category Archives: My Favs

Because this time I’m even more gracious

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I don’t think this one needs an explanation… I love y’all! I hope you enjoyed my walk down memory lane this week. Hopefully it only gets better from here. Stay tuned for the ride.

My Sincerest Gratitude Posted on October 24, 2011

Two months ago to this day all I had was a URL and a few thoughts… I wanted to share my last fat year with anyone  interested. I wanted to share my story hoping that it would help make someone else’s journey a little easier. Or at the least be interesting to read about my shenanigans now and then.

August 22, 2011 I published my first post, My Official Declaration. I was a bit taken aback by the kind and encouraging feedback that it received. After that post I committed to making a new post three times a week (Monday, Wednesday, and Friday), I may have broken my commitment a time or two but I’ve never been too good with that word. I never would have guessed it would be this difficult. I thought I could write a blog… I have lots to say. But reality hit and I don’t always know what to say, there are times when I have to sit and think about topics to share. I’m not or never will be a writer but I hope my ability to relate will overshadow my lack of formal writing skill. This is the beginning and I’m hoping it’s only going to get better from here.

I’d like to express my gratitude for each and every person that has ever commented, emailed, called, texted, tweeted or simply talked to me about this site. Every single click matters to me and I thank all of you that are bearing with me as I go through my growing pains. These first few months have been more than I imagined. I figured a few friends and family would occasionally take a peek, but I never imagined anyone other than them would find an interest in my voyage.

If you know me well you know that I’m usually not very emotional, but at this moment I can’t help but be overwhelmed by my emotions. This blog was a concept that I’ve thought of for a while but was always hesitant to jump in to. Read about coming to that decision here. I’m more excited about this site and my goals than ever. Friends, family and new-found friends I love and thank you all. I would go in to individual thank yous but I don’t think anyone wants to read that long list. I have friends that have dreams much bigger for me than I even have for myself. And I love and thank them for pushing me every time they feel necessary.

This is the perfect time to thank my dear friend Bekah. She has truly been an inspiration to my blog and my life, as I strive to one day to be half the writer she is. Her blog Rebekah Hopes is truly amazing, and if she thinks mine is worth reading then I must be doing something right. So please take a look at it and be inspired.

I’m so happy I have great people like her to make my voyage so much more enjoyable. I’m truly blessed and I really cannot say thank you enough to everyone that’s taking this journey with me or even just cheering me on as I go. With this kind of support from all of you there is no way I can fail.

Any ideas, comments, questions or concerns are greatly appreciated. Or if you see something that you think could be better please let me know. And it’s always a joy to hear stories of others in the weight loss battle. You can contact me via email, comments or twitter.

I promise that everything posted on here is genuine and I’ll always speak from my heart. Read on dear friends.

Xoxo,

Carnisha

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Facing the scale

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This is the first time I posted my weight on my blog. I was so nervous about everyone knowing how much I weighed. And not only that but to update it regularly meant that you could keep up with my progress and all my failures would be made public.

“Weighing In: Numbers don’ t lie”” Originally posted October 24, 2011

I’ve had a very good weekend and my scale definitely agreed with that. But why is it that having a good time has to lead to packing on extra pounds? When I was doing really well with my weight, I eliminated most of the “fun” things that come along with being a twenty-something. But I really need to find a way to do both. I want to be free to have fun without dreading an extra few pounds for each weekend of fun.

So I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I haven’t disclosed my weight yet. I read several weight loss blogs and one thing that they all have listed is their weight and they have some type of scheduled weigh in that they regularly post. Well since I call myself a blogger now I think it’s time for me to play by the rules. This morning I stepped on the scale.

I never realized it was so difficult to take a picture while on the scale, but there it is. I weigh 233.8 pounds. I’m not sure why I was so hesitant to share the actual number when I freely describe all the struggles I have with my weight. I am not very happy with the number, but now I am not hiding what it is anymore. I’m adding a page to track my weekly weigh in, instead of using my pathetic attempt at a countdown by using the graph I have up now. It was expected to be up by now but sometimes I let life get in the way of my blog.

So I weight 233.8 now and my heaviest weight was 262 pounds. My normal range is about 228-230. And earlier this year I was in the 230s so long I vowed never to pass 229 again, but here I am. 219 was the lightest which was sometime around May. Yeah 219, that number sounds and looks so good to me now! But if I get my act together I’ll see it again soon.

 My goal is to lose 75 pounds by January 17th and that would put me at 187, but I’ll just round that to 185. So there it is… I want to weigh 185 by January 17th. Looking at the numbers I’m not sure that is a healthy amount of weight to be lost without doing anything drastic, so this may not be my last fat year but I’ll get there.

I don’t really have an end goal weight in mind, I just want to be able to walk into a regular store and have an abundance of cute clothing in my size! 8, 10, 12? I think I want to be somewhere in there. I don’t want to put a number on it; I just want to be healthy and fit. I want to run a 5k and regularly compete in 10ks. I want to do a marathon. I want to have muscles. I want people to look at me and think oh yeah she’s fit.

I don’t ever want to be categorized as big, plus-sized, or chubby. When people look at me I want them to see my beautiful smile or my lovely eyes not my bigger than normal silhouette.

So stayed tuned for this new weekly weigh in thingy. It’ll probably be a rollercoaster ride on the scale, but I’m ok with that as long as there are a few steep dips along the ride.

So anyone have a number that they can’t seem to get away from? Or what’s your ideal weight loss? Does anyone think it’s still possible for me to weigh 185 by my birthday? And I’ll work on the weekly weigh-in page. I’m thinking my weigh-ins should be on Monday? So let’s hope between today and next Monday I at least lose a pound or two.

Sharing the darker side

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I share this post today because it’s the first time I stopped trying to write what I thought people wanted to hear and I just write exactly what I felt. It was a big moment for me. It’s when I decided to tell the truth and show the darker side of the journey. Enjoy.

“Why can’t we all just be skinny” Originally posted September 9, 2011

Maybe I shouldn’t be sharing this but I promised myself each post would be honest and this is honestly what I’m feeling at this moment. I published this to show that there’s a not so happy side of getting fit. Behind every weight loss I’m sure there was a struggle of some kind. And now you all get to see my struggle.

I had a hard workout today and it just makes me angry. I know that’s not what I’m supposed to say but the truth is loosing weight isn’t easy. I’m not cheery and optimistic about it all the time. Sometimes I get mad and frustrated. Why can (insert random name here) eat any and everything she wants, hasn’t exercised since high school gym class but still not gain a pound? Why do I have to work my butt off and struggle daily with all of my food cravings just to lose a pound or two?

I’ve had moments where I’ve stared at my stomach and just wished I could take a knife and cut off all the excess “meat”. Sometimes I think wouldn’t it be worth it to get rid of it all? Other times I look in the mirror and curse all the imperfections that are staring back at me.

Being a Christian I know this is wrong but I’d wish fatness on my enemies. I don’t think I even have any enemies but if I ever do I’d wish them fat. I wish that they had to go shopping with their friends and sit back and watch them try on clothes. But no fat girl you can’t fit anything in this store. But your loving friends find something that they think looks big enough and urge you to try it on… and guess what? It doesn’t fit… I have always blamed my dislike of the mall on the large crowds of people and annoying teenagers, but now that I’m being honest I think it’s all about the clothes. Going to a massive store just to have to go to one little section with clothes I can fit. It’s just not my idea of fun at all. Or the plus-sized stores that make me feel horrible about myself as soon as I step in. But guess what… most of the times they don’t fit me properly anyways. You know how frustrating it is to be too fat for the regular stores but not quite fat enough for the plus size stores? Feeling like my body doesn’t fit anywhere.

Weight loss isn’t always a walk through roses so I wanted to share the darker side. I’m far from where I started but I’m nowhere near where I want to be. Thanks for reading. I have some time to cool off and I’ll be back with a new attitude! 😉 Smooches

I was here

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This may not be my best from a writing standpoint, but I love this song. 

“I was here” September26, 2011

Inspiration strikes again by song. This time the song bird is Miss Beyoncé Knowles or should I say Mrs. Carter? This song brings so much inspiration to my whole life. I know health and weight loss is my main priority now but I do have a life outside of that. I pride myself on my volunteer efforts and I’ve always believed that helping someone else makes your own life that much more worth living.

When my time comes I want to be able to say I tried my hardest at all my dreams and never backed down from one of them. I know every dream isn’t meant to become reality but I want to make sure that doesn’t stop me from trying. And I would hope there is at least one person in this world that would be able to say that their world was better because I was there.

Check out the song and lyrics in the video below…

You’ll always remember your first

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Restoration Park West Monroe, LA

Looking back at all the posts I’ve done, how could I not start with the very first one? If I had to pick one absolute favorite it may have to be this one. You always remember your first. I hope you enjoy this one from August 24, 2011…

 My Official Declaration

I’m here and I’m really doing this! Ok, if you can’t tell I’m really excited. The goal is to drop 75 pounds from my all time high recorded on February 2010. So roughly I have about 21 weeks to lose 38 pounds. And I know that may sound very simple but it has taken me over a year to lose 45 pounds and then I started gaining back. So now I will focus on this 75 and then I’ll decide if I need to drop more or if I just need to switch my focus to maintaining my weight.  The official goal date will be January 17, 2012 (my 27th birthday). But this is how I came up with this challenge…

I was wondering what was necessary to keep myself motivated and make sure that I achieve this goal. Walking through this beautiful landscape (pictured above) it kind of hit me like a Mack truck between the eyes… this will be my last fat year. And I kept saying it to myself as I walked along the trail and the more I said it the more I believed it. YES! THIS WILL BE MY LAST FAT YEAR! But a verbal proclamation would not be adequate so I thought social media is the only way to go.

I was stoked about my idea and started to think about it more. What if I just wrote about it instead? That would give me accountability and hopefully an audience to motivate me along the way. I often get people who stop and ask me what I have done to lose the weight and each time I ponder my answer. I want to say a million different things but I know none of it is what they want to hear. My normal reply is I changed my life. And of course that is not the answer they are looking for but there’s no simpler way I can answer that, unless you want to have a conversation that’ll last a few hours. So since I have so much to say I decided a blog would be a great way to get the word out. Hey if you want to know how I lost the weight and how I will continue to lose the weight stay posted because this is the forum I’ll be using to discuss it.

 I’ve tried several things. Some I’ve enjoyed and some I haven’t but we have plenty of time to discuss it all. If you’re trying to lose just a few pounds, make healthier choices or redesign your body you should take this adventure with me. They’ll be victories to be celebrated and hurdles to overcome but I am ready to tackle it all. Are you ready? Is this your last fat year too? If not this year then when?